AM I bleeding invisible or just to nice to people.

Post by **paul bristol uk** » Mon Feb 16, 2015 11:42 pm

Doggo wrote:Well you're definitely not just too nice to people

Que?

Nonsense I mention you in my prayers to the Flying Spaghetti Monster every night

prelude91 · Post by **prelude91** » Mon Feb 16, 2015 11:50 pm

Oh, dear, sounds like you've had a succession of people letting you down of late, some of whom you feel / felt would be more reliable. Don't let it get you down, sounds like a couple of let downs have compounded on you.

YouTube · Post by **Sailor** » Mon Feb 16, 2015 11:56 pm

The 'being too nice' can bite you like this.
A bloke promises one thing too many. Who does he choose to let down? Probably the one he thinks will complain the least.

Alternative scenario: he lets down the one who gave him grief last time!

Only you can say ....

Post by **paul bristol uk** » Tue Feb 17, 2015 12:00 am

prelude 91 I think you are bang on with your observation,
Again Sailor it is the first one.

prelude91 · Post by **prelude91** » Tue Feb 17, 2015 12:03 am

Funny old stuff, interpersonal skills. Often been called 'too nice' to people myself at times, especially in my purchasing days. There's always a trade off between getting good service and using the stick. Mostly, in my experience, being 'nice' gets the best results overall. And on the odd occasion that I had to be 'not nice' I still got noticed and issues were solved satisfactorily. Explaining your point of view is often important and making people realise the implications of their actions is a worthwhile approach. And don't forget, tomorrow is another day...

prelude91 · Post by **prelude91** » Tue Feb 17, 2015 12:06 am

.. and when you talk about being 'invisible' you bring a hint of lack of self worth into the equation, which is not so.

The "S" express · Post by **honda-hardy** » Tue Feb 17, 2015 1:15 am

send me a pm paul if you need any help/work with/on your car.

Post by **simonc** » Tue Feb 17, 2015 5:09 am

Isn't this just the effect of a more lackadaisical attitude that has permeated and to an extent, firmly embedded itself into societies? (I don't mean just the UK but in many places I've been lucky to visit or work)

It's rife over here Paul and drives me bananas. Oh yeah, we'll do it and nowt happens. Not even a call, text or whatever to let me know. I know some people can let it run off their backs but like you, I find it rude, nothing more, nothing less and wonder if that's the overall direction we're heading. If it is then the both us need "Couldn't give a toss" acceptance therapy immediately.
Don't let the b******s grind you down mate.

Post by **Doggo** » Tue Feb 17, 2015 8:24 am

paul bristol uk wrote:
Doggo wrote:Well you're definitely not just too nice to people

Que?
Nonsense I mention you in my prayers to the Flying Spaghetti Monster every night

May you be touched by his noodly appendage.

Some people do seem to see being nice to them as a sign of weakness. If they're defining their personal interactions by how threatened they feel that's not much of an endorsement of how they've grown personally. So it's not you - you're just better balanced than that. As said, try not to let it grind you down... it's disappointing though, I agree.

I also think P91's ideas on approaches sound intelligent, no?

Personally I sometimes have an issue where the less thoughtful think I am very nice indeed and a bit soft, then it seems almost overly blunt to them when I react firmly to being fecked about. Still learning here

mercutio · Post by **mercutio** » Tue Feb 17, 2015 5:56 pm

I hate it when people dont take the time to reply or just call to say they re running late or can they put it off for a day its just plain rude and shows a lack of respect.
I am generally easy going and very laid back but it really grinds when people avoid contacting you