I'm from the future!

Post by **Doggo** » Tue Feb 26, 2013 12:03 am

Sailor wrote:
Doggo wrote: PS. In more robust societies people are placed against a wall and shot for puns like that, Donald.
Perhaps in 2045 they ate their spuds with sousages.

Oh Death, where is thy sting?

Post by **Donald** » Tue Feb 26, 2013 12:17 am

Doggo wrote: PS. In more robust societies people are placed against a wall and shot for puns like that, Donald.

Seems like a bit of an unfair...

...punishment.

Post by **Doggo** » Tue Feb 26, 2013 12:32 am

Post by **Donald** » Tue Feb 26, 2013 1:19 am

There are no guns in the future either, at least not as you know them.

As of 2020, Liberia was under the rule of General Butt Naked. Following the extraction of UN staff in late 2013, the old war generals returned to arms and once again began fighting. A 7 year civil war ensued and almost all of Monrovia was reduced to rubble. All that remained was Chocolate City, but that was a no-go zone for pretty much everyone. Even the 'murricans didn't dare attempt a peace mission.

Anyway, 2020 rolled around and General Butt Naked and his troops were the dominating force in the country and brought the war to an end... sort of. It wasn't long until he craved more, and starting November 2020 he began an attempt to take West Africa for himself. Basically the UN (which by now had basically assimilated every nation) decided he was a bit of a troublemaker. This meant it was Liberia vs Rest of World. The war lasted a mere two years, ending with Australia losing it's rag and napalming the hell out of Liberia, Côte D'Ivoire, Ghana and Togo. It was a lot of napalm, the smoke and ash from 4 countries on fire soon affected the world's weather systems. Everyone agreed that napalm was a bit far, this lead to a meeting of world leaders and almost everyone agreed that weapons were just silly.

Over the following 5 years all weaponry was dismantled and recycled. Some argued that this was all just a money making scheme, governments sold the recycled materials at a much lower rate than anyone else could afford to. This led to another recession and failing businesses everywhere. A worldwide chain of government backed shops opened up under the name of One & All. Everyone went there. It was a pretty grim time, meat was just meat, cheese was cheese, bread was bread. It was all pretty bland, you didn't know what you were eating; it was just textured shapes with confusing labelling.

Long story short, the 2030s were dark years. jobby weather, jobby health, jobby everything. Civil wars were cropping up everywhere. Society fragmented. Education was at an all time low, most children born in the 30s suffered with IQs of around 60 and lacked basic skills. People took land for themselves. It was pretty ironic that fixing this situation put us in this very situation.

It wasn't until 2042 that things slowly started to improve.

YouTube · Post by **Sailor** » Wed Feb 27, 2013 1:05 am

Donald wrote: It wasn't until 2042 that things slowly started to improve.

Finally, after three long years, the improvements reached the point where we were at last able to free ourselves of "Donald A Bit Special". Unfortunately, a His-space software error dropped off 3 digits and sent him back only 32 years. We are concerned that he's still young enough to crawl his way back. We're hoping that a Her-space program might deter him.

Post by **Donald** » Wed Feb 27, 2013 1:17 am

Ah that old 'trick-the-time-traveller' business. I have walked my life many times over, you wont fool me son. There was no error.

Sending me 32XXX years back with out a receiving vessel would've actually killed me. Luckily, the technology has a failsafe so I am only sent back to somewhere within my lifespan, so it drops digits off the end until a suitable number is reached. Fortunately 32 years back from '45 is '13... hence why I am here, now.

I let this happen. My clever thread to lure out the interferer has worked.

mercutio · Post by **mercutio** » Wed Feb 27, 2013 8:11 am

although you posting now would mean if i kill you now i would save the future from your meddling and then reopen our future from the plan you have laid out

Post by **Lude-dude** » Wed Feb 27, 2013 10:46 am

I take it weed is legal in the future?

judging from this thread

Post by **Vtecmec** » Wed Feb 27, 2013 10:57 am

Post by **Donald** » Wed Feb 27, 2013 6:22 pm

Blueberries. There's a lot to be said for antioxidants a high vitamin content. I wasn't really around in the 90s, being around 5 or 6 when that was released but I do my best to make up for it... I have M-Beat - Incredible on CD single somewhere.

On to more credible tastes though, Bizzy B - Everyday, Leviticus - Burial, Capleton - Tour, DJ Krome - The Licence?

Lude-dude wrote:I take it weed is legal in the future?

judging from this thread

Yes, but not until 2029. The pockets of the nation had been emptied by increased taxes in the name of 'world peace'. Basically because we joined in the West Africa debacle, we over extended. The following years of a booming metal/recycling trade (for the govt. at least) left more people out of work due to the self-inflicted recession. Obviously this put a lot more people under pressure, less jobs, all that stuff. Benefits galore. Anyway, as you all know, people that want drugs find a way to get drugs. The government thought it was taking a step in the right direction by the legalisation of marijuana. Of course this was only under the condition that they fully control it, thus earning money from something that had been in trade for years. What did the customers get? Government grown dogshit green, equivalent to what you'd get from a tracksuit clad yoot outside of a Spa.