Post
by Sailor » Mon Dec 12, 2016 8:16 pm
Today, I wrote a letter to a local establishment that refers to itself as a 'gastropub'.
No apologies for reproducing the text:
Dear Sirs,
Five of us came to eat at the Bourne Valley Inn last Friday. We all left disappointed.
To enumerate our experiences:
1. You list your Caesar Salad in two sizes. We ordered two small and one large. When they arrived, it was impossible to tell which was which. When this was pointed out, your friendly and courteous staff promptly brought the missing portion.
2. We have noticed that when the variant of Caesar Salad that contains fish is listed on a menu, the fish is usually mentioned. The BVI doesn’t do this. Unfortunately, two of the three salads were ordered by people who don’t eat fish. In consequence, they were able to eat only those portions of the dish that were not tainted by the taste. They went home hungry.
3. The third portion of the salad contained very little chicken. What had at first looked to be a reasonable plateful turned out to be mostly lettuce.
4. Our overseas guest said that the taste and texture of the Monkfish was acceptable. What a pity, then, that the quantity was barely sufficient for a starter and came with no extras. As a minimum for something approximating a soup or stew, we would have expected some bread. Our guest went home hungry.
5. The Venison was nicely cooked, if lukewarm. Unfortunately, two mouthfuls do not make a meal. The mashed potato was overcooked and the dish was over-reliant on greens.
6. The tables ranged along the bar are unsuitable for five people. This part of the layout is a bustling corridor. Two of us were frequently brushed against by other customers. It was a busy night for you. Had you not been able to fit us in comfortably, you should not have accepted the booking.
We did not find that the quality of your offering is anywhere near sufficient to justify your prices, let alone the hyperbole of your marketing. You did at least remove one item from the bill.
Yours faithfully,
International Pensioner of Mystery